


The Ghost of St. Valentine

by gemzies



Series: Colliding By Design [1]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Falling In Love, Finn doesn't know what to think anymore, Hurt, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Regret, Sad Ending, Trust Issues, character study of sorts, looking back at things, set immediately after NXT Takeover: Vengeance Day, unspoken feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:55:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29528118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemzies/pseuds/gemzies
Summary: Finn knew better, that was the worst part about it. He knew not to let his guard down, not to let people in, not to let himself trust. Putting up walls was easier on his heart.But then came Kyle O'Reilly. And Finn let him in.
Relationships: Finn Balor | Prince Devitt/Kyle O'Reilly
Series: Colliding By Design [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179758
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	The Ghost of St. Valentine

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help wanting to explore Finn's thoughts on what went on after the NXT Championship match at Takeover.
> 
> Title from the Bayside song of the same name.
> 
> ...poor Kyle.

Finn let out a sigh as he sat down. The cold steel of the chair sent a small chill through his body, clad in just his trunks and boots, his skin still hot from exertion and the bright lights over the ring. He clutched the ice pack he had been given as tightly as his throbbing hands would let him, willing it to bring him some relief. But he knew that the pain he was feeling wouldn’t simply go away with ice.

Yes, he had won his match. Out of the corner of his eye he could just see the gold of the NXT Championship belt glinting in the fluorescent light of his locker room, the belt that was still his, the belt he’d fought like Hell to make sure stayed his. And Finn was proud of his win, sure, even though he had never doubted that would be the outcome. But he just couldn’t bring himself to be happy about it.

_What was I thinking?_

Finn shook his head, leaning forward and resting his forehead on his wrists. The words cycled through his brain on a loop. A broken record, scratches in the vinyl distorting anything positive about the moment into something dissonant and ugly. The end of the show replayed in his mind over and over, the rollercoaster of emotions he’d been through – the high of the win, the panic of the attack after, the momentary thrill as he realized Undisputed Era had come to his aid, the feeling he couldn’t quite pinpoint (or maybe wouldn’t let himself pinpoint) as Kyle offered his hand, and then the eternal bitterness of betrayal.

He knew better.

That was the worst part about it, in Finn’s mind. He knew not to let his guard down, not to let himself start feeling something, not to let himself _trust_. But he did it anyway, and look where it got him: fractured fingers, a kick to the face, and finding himself alone once again.

He had tried to be a better man when he came to WWE. He really had. The regret that Finn felt about his actions at the end of his run in New Japan, the way he treated people and the way he was treated as a result, weighed heavily on his mind as he made the move to Florida. He had tried to be… not necessarily affable, but less closed off and abrasive to people. In turn he found himself making friends. But allowing himself to make “friends” had only reinforced the fact that he can’t trust anyone but himself.

His friendship with Sami Zayn led what should have been a straight-forward title match against Kevin Owens to become something deeply personal and nasty. Samoa Joe turned on him, tried to end his career over the NXT Championship. Seth Rollins abandoned him as soon as The Shield returned. And not a damn soul could be bothered to check on him after he faced off with The Fiend.

Finn made a promise to himself when he returned to NXT that he was going to pledge his allegiance to no one. For the first year he was there it was an easy promise to keep, too. Targeting Johnny Gargano made people instantly keep their distance, and a Pelé kick to Adam Cole let everyone know he had no plans of joining Undisputed Era or any other “club”. Sure, the entire locker room may have hated him (respected him, begrudgingly, but hated him), but it was easier on his heart to see the potential attacks coming.

And then came Kyle O’Reilly.

He could not put his finger on what it was about Kyle that made him different. What he saw in those large brown eyes that captured his attention, or what he heard in his voice as Kyle sat across from him and said he was going to take the NXT Championship from him that intrigued him. But he remembered the rush he felt when they locked up in the ring for the first time. The electricity that pulsed through him during the match. The way Kyle took him to the absolute limit, breaking his jaw and bruising his body, and that he’d never felt so alive in his life.

Finn tried to put those thoughts aside while he was recovering from the broken jaw. He tried to forget the way Kyle had looked at him after the bell had rung, sad eyes full of apologies and heartbreak but not an ounce of defeat. And he _did not think about_ the way Kyle had checked on him before he left for the hospital, that he sought him out despite his own injuries and pain, making Finn a brief priority when his friend (or friend at the time, Finn supposed now) had been attacked that same night.

Their second match together felt charged, tense, so pure and violent and beautiful, and even though Finn was happy when he won he wished they could keep fighting forever. When Kyle ran out to help him the following week all of the feelings he’d been trying to shove aside came flooding back to the front of his mind, but this time… this time he found himself thinking that maybe Kyle felt them, too.

When he told Mr. Regal that he only had enemies Finn wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Regal or himself, but he silently thanked the GM for forcing his hand. Kyle agreed to be his tag partner, and he could have sworn sparks flew as they tagged in and out. After the tag match and the attack that followed, as he found himself inadvertently standing alongside the Undisputed Era, he and Kyle made eye contact and he could feel every wall he’d painstakingly built come crashing down. In that moment Finn _knew._ In that moment he let Kyle in, and let himself have hope.

He really should have seen it coming.

Finn moved so that he was leaning back in the chair, resting his head on the wall behind him. He knew Adam Cole had no reason to trust him. Hell, he had every reason _not_ to considering he would know better than most the kind of person Bullet Club attracted. Roderick Strong and Bobby Fish had no reason to trust him, either, for that matter. But there was a small part of him that had thought, uncharacteristically naively, that this fledging whatever between him and Kyle would at the very least lead to a tentative understanding. Again, he thought, he knew better than that.

_“I don’t trust anyone right now.”_

Confronting Kyle immediately after the betrayal probably wasn’t the smartest thing Finn’s ever done. But he was angry, so angry he could feel a familiar stirring deep inside for the first time in ages, and he couldn’t help himself. He wasn’t sure if he was able to hide the bolt of hurt that shot through him when Kyle answered his question about trust. Maybe to the point that the cameras missed it, but he didn’t know if Kyle saw it. If Kyle could feel it despite all of the emotions he himself was feeling, emotions Finn had become way too acquainted with through-out his own life.

Emotions he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t experiencing now, as he tried to decompress and ease the pain in his fingers enough to be able to drive and the pain in his heart enough to function.

Finn had done the only thing he knew how to do in response. He lashed out, throwing the words right back in Kyle’s face. “You be careful. Because I’m not cleaning up your mess,” he spat. He could see the way the words stung Kyle, could see the way Kyle began to fall apart in front of him as the reality of the situation began to set in, but he was too upset and too proud to let himself retract the statement. So, he walked away and headed backstage without a second glance.

He regretted it instantly.

He sighed and reached down to start removing his kick pads, the pain in his hands having ebbed enough that he could finally change out of his gear. _So what do I do now?_ he asked himself as he finished with his boots and stood to grab his clothes from his bag. In his wildest dreams he wanted to run out and find Kyle, wrap his arms around him, offer comfort, and tell him how he felt. On a more realistic level he figured he should reach out and at least apologize for how he acted in the ring. The truth of the situation though, he thought as he finished pulling on his shirt, was that bridge had been burned. And what Finn needed to do now was sift through the ashes of what could have been, start rebuilding his walls, and move on.

Finn knew deep down that he couldn’t do that. At least not until he got some answers as to why he’d ended up with a face full of Adam’s shoe. Not until he knew for certain if Kyle had anything to do with it or not. Not until he was sure he and Kyle would never happen.

 _Happy Valentine’s Day to me,_ he thought bitterly. Then he grabbed his bag, grabbed his title, and headed home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
